I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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