TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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