I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize