I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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