My nipple is on Facebook.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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