I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
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You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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