All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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