I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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