Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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