I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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