dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize