I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize