I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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