why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize