I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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