she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize