The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
being pregnant is like rehab
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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