just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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