This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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