"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize