well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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