please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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