MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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