So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize