I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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