Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
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You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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