Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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