You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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