Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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