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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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