Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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