found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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