Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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