Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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