he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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