I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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