it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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