Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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