Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize