pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize