Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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