She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize