Will you blow on my dice?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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