Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.

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  (614): Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis. http://tfl.nu/937p
  Replies (25) Good night (2370) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.

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  (770): I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/s1ae
  Replies (40) Good night (5973) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com

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  (203): I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com http://tfl.nu/9o3u
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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  (262): Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta. http://tfl.nu/1aj3
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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  (912): His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/9x22
  Replies (21) Good night (847) Bad night (5419) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.

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  (519): you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner. http://tfl.nu/pwti
  Replies (7) Good night (3421) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

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  (+44): She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre. http://tfl.nu/gzcq
  Replies (5) Good night (2368) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable

  (678): View more from Georgia

  not having any beer money sounds even more miserable

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  (770): I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable (678): not having any beer money sounds even more miserable http://tfl.nu/amg8
  Replies (3) Good night (1923) Bad night (475)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.

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  (+61): Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on. http://tfl.nu/q17g
  Replies (13) Good night (3241) Bad night (725)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

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  (406): I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth. http://tfl.nu/0auz
  Replies (12) Good night (661) Bad night (2069) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.

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  (847): He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that. http://tfl.nu/228l
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left

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  (208): I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left http://tfl.nu/jhm7
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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  (513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

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  (520): I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break. http://tfl.nu/xprx
  Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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  (206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober. http://tfl.nu/q7n9
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt

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