I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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