my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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