It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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