I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize