i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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