She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize